Budgeting: How much should I spend on a wedding gift? A budget that holds up
How much should I spend on a wedding gift? Set it by how close you are and what you can afford, and spend less on the gift if going to the wedding is already expensive.
By Wealtie Team · 3 min read
Key takeaways
- Set a wedding gift budget based on how close you are and what you can afford.
- Travel, a hotel and an outfit count toward what the wedding costs you, so a lower gift is reasonable if those are high.
- Three weddings in a year at 250 each, with travel, come to 750, which is about 63 a month saved from January.
- Customs vary a lot by country and community, so ask someone from the couple's circle if you're unsure.
How much should I spend on a wedding gift?
An amount that fits your budget and how close you are to the couple. There's no fixed figure, since customs and incomes vary so much. The tiers below are a starting point in round numbers that work in any currency, so scale them to where you live.
| How you know them | A reasonable gift |
|---|---|
| Colleague, acquaintance, plus-one | 30 to 50 |
| Friend | 50 to 100 |
| Close friend or relative | 100 to 200 |
| Immediate family or wedding party | Whatever you've decided, and it can be well above that |
Your circle's own custom matters more than any table. In some communities, giving cash in a particular amount is the norm, while in others it's a registry or nothing at all. Ask someone in the group if you're not sure.
Do you have to cover the cost of your plate?
No. It's an old idea that doesn't hold up. You don't know what the couple paid per person, and a gift isn't a payment for dinner. Your budget and your relationship are better guides.
Should the cost of going reduce the gift?
Yes, it's reasonable. Add up what the wedding's already costing you:
| Line | Amount |
|---|---|
| Travel | 120 |
| Hotel, one night | 90 |
| Outfit or shoes | 80 |
| Gift | 60 |
| Total | 350 |
If you've spent 290 getting there, a gift of 60 is perfectly fine. Most couples would rather have you there, and a destination wedding might already be one of the biggest things you buy that year. If you're in the wedding party, you've probably got extra costs like a suit hire or a hen or stag weekend, so it's normal for the gift to be smaller than people assume.
What if you can't go?
You don't have to send a gift, though many people do if they're close to the couple. A smaller gift or a card is fine. If you've said no because money's tight, there's no need to overspend out of guilt.
How do you give less without it being awkward?
Choose something thoughtful, or join in with others. A group gift means several people chip in and give something the couple wants, and no one can see who gave what. A registry often has lower-priced items, and they're fine to choose.
Something personal can also mean more than an expensive item: a framed photo from a trip you took together, a recipe book of family meals, or a day's help with something they'll need. Add a handwritten card, whatever else you give. It's the bit people tend to keep.
Don't feel you have to explain the amount.
How do you budget for a year with several weddings?
Add them up in January, or as soon as the invitations start arriving. It's the total that causes the problem, since three or four weddings in one summer can cost more than a holiday.
Say you've got three to go to, and each will come to about 250 with travel and a gift. That's 750, or about 63 a month saved from January. A sinking fund handles this kind of cost well, with one pot and a note of what's coming up.
If that doesn't fit, decide what you'll do before the invitations pile up. You could go to the ceremony but skip the hen or stag weekend, share a room, travel by train instead of flying, or reuse the same outfit. Saying no to the expensive add-ons is a normal thing to do, and most friends will understand.
What if a friend's wedding costs more than you can afford?
Tell them early, and keep it simple. "I'd love to be there, but the weekend's more than I can manage this year" is a complete sentence. It's kinder than cancelling a few weeks before, and they'll have time to plan.
Don't put it on a credit card if you won't be able to clear the balance. What your minimum payment costs shows why.
If you're close and you'd like to be part of it, ask what would help. A smaller role, the ceremony only, or an evening invitation might suit you both.
When should you give the gift?
Any time around the wedding. Many couples prefer gifts sent to their home before or after the day, so they don't have to carry them. Cash or a cheque in a card is usually fine to bring along.
If you've got a registry link, order early, as cheaper items tend to go first. That also spreads the cost across a month or two, instead of landing on the same week as the travel.
How do you plan for wedding costs in Wealtie?
Give weddings their own line in your expense categories, so you can see the total for the year in one place. Log the travel, hotel, outfit and gift there. A monthly limit in the budget tracker then shows what's left in a month with a wedding in it, and Budget Health warns you mid-month if your pace would take you over.
Questions people ask
Usually 30 to 50 for an acquaintance, 50 to 100 for a friend and 100 to 200 for close friends or family. Adjust that for local custom and what you can afford.
No, you don't have to, though many people send something small if they're close to the couple. A card is fine if money's tight.
Yes, for many friends and colleagues, particularly if you're also paying for travel or a hotel. Your budget and your relationship with the couple matter more than any rule.
Add up the expected cost of each one, including travel, and divide by the months you've got. Three weddings at 250 each come to 750, or about 63 a month over a year.
This article is general information, not financial, tax or legal advice. Your situation is your own; check the numbers that apply to you before you act on them.
